Tale One: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
It was my first and only year at Edgelea Elementary School. We were getting ready for the school Christmas show. We were going to sing, dance. Most importantly, we were going to have a mini-parade, and one lucky 5th grader got to be Rudolph. Rudolph got to wear a reindeer costume, have a red nose, and jingle a bell and dance around the audience. The rules to audition for Rudolph were simple. Besides being willing to wear a rubber red nose, you also had to be the shortest 5th grader who wanted the part. My friend Celenia and I decided to audition, since we were both short. I was shorter than her, so she knew she wouldn't get the part, but she tried anyway. Celenia got the boot and I stayed up there all the way up to the final two. It was down to a girl named Abbie Seidle and myself. When it came time to go back-to-back (quite literally!), our music teacher thought we were both the same height. She had to get other teachers for reinforcement. We had students cheering our names. The teachers all gathered around us, checked our height, and decided that Abbie was slightly shorter than I. I was declared understudy and went back to eating my lunch. A few moments later, I looked down at my feet. It was then I noticed I was wearing my favorite brown boots with the heel-wedge thing on them! I felt cheated out of an opportunity. After this day, I started talking to Abbie more and more and we becaome best friends about two years later. What did I learn from this? Sometimes, your biggest competition and your best friend are the same thing.
Tale Two: New Child Labor Laws?
During my senior year and the summer before college, I worked as an administrative assistant at a title company in Lafayette called Advantage Title, Inc. I have had a couple clients ask their closing agent how old I was, but never before had one asked my to my face before.
A few weeks before the story I am about to tell you, my parents took me to Ball State for my overnight orientation. On the way to turn in my tax forms to the career center, my dad was joking around with me that people on campus were going to think that I was some sort of ten-year-old genius (Yes, this is relevant to the story!)
Okay, back to the story. I had a woman in her 40s come up to me to check in for her appointment. As I was getting her checked in, she asked me a question.
Client: How old are you?
Me: *unsure if I heard correctly* ...excuse me?
Client: How..olllld... are yooooou?
Me: Eighteen...
Client: Are you serious?
Me: ...yes...
Client: Oh, I thought you were ten!
Me: Nah, I'm definitely eighteen.
Client: Oh, okay. *Goes to sit down in the lobby*
I then go to inform her agent, Pam, that her client was here and what she had just said about me.
Me: Your client is here.
Pam: Oh good!
Me: She thought I was ten.
Pam: *cocks head to the side* really?
Me: Yes, really.
Pam: Does she have some sort of vision issue?
Me: No clue.
Pam: I wonder if she knows that we can't legally hire a ten year-old.
Me: Probably not.
Tale Three: You Must Be This Tall to Get an Adult Orange Juice.
My parents were taking me back to school after Thanksgiving break, and we decided to stop at the IHOP in Muncie. Upon getting seated, my dad sees booster seats for little kids.
Dad: Hey Emily, do you need a booster seat?
Me: No... *glares*
Our waitress, who looks about my age, seats us and asks us what we want to drink. We give her our orders, and we begin to discuss. A few minutes later, she comes back with no drinks in her hands. We get really confused...until she begins speaking.
Waitress: Would you like her to have a kids size or an adult size? *referring to me*
Mom: Oh, she can have an adult size.
Waitress: Okay, I just wanted to make sure.
Mom: That's fine.
Waitress: Some parents get mad when I bring their child the wrong size drink when they're at that age where they are transitioning from the kids menu to the adult menu.
Me: *has a half disgusted, half I-can't-believe-you-think-I'm-twelve look*
Dad: She's a freshman at Ball State...
Waitress: OH MY GOD! I AM SO SO SO SORRY!
Dad: It's alright, she's a pretty small person.
Waitress: You know, I get confused for a kid sometimes too. I'll be right out with your drinks then.
Afterwards, my dad kept asking me if I was going to get the pancake off the kids menu where you can make a face with fruit and yogurt. Thanks, Dad...
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